Went to the clinic early in the morning at 8am after we send Davian to school. Our appointment as scheduled, the nurse was quite prompt and asked to proceed with the necessary before I could start.
DH suppose to take leave to accompany me as before but...he says he has a meeting today and he will leave after he settled his part. Was quite piss with his attitude, taking things for granted this time. Thinking the whole process should be easy on me and I can managed myself.
I have been feeling emotional during the past few days while he is overseas, as I see most couple come together for the treatment whereas me either alone or with my boy and parent. The main support is not there with me to go through this phase.
This time round when he is back to SG, he still continue to give the excuse of not accompanying me and be there as my support.
I was told to change to operating robe and wait patiently at the waiting area to be called. The aesthetic doctor explained everything to me and get me to sign the form. Not long after I was asked to enter the theatre. The whole place looked familiar to me as this was not my first. Dr Lau came in shortly and asked how is my stomach and I replied him that I am doing good. The aesthetic doc gave me the sedative shortly and I feel my vision getting slightly blurred and things started to shift from my vision. If I remembered correctly, previously I was totally knocked out after the jab but this time round I am semi awake and I can still hear the surrounding.
After not long, I hear Dr Lau says total there is 8. Which means total of 8 follicles retrieved I guess. I was a little disappointed as it is actually lesser than before which I have 12. Chances of having good follicles definitely lessen.
I can feel I am pushed to one corner which I believed is the resting lounge to rest. The nurse tried to wake me up and hear my response. Shortly she asked me to wake up and drink a cup of milo. In my heart, all took place so shortly and I'm afraid DH is not ready to fetch me so I hesitate awhile. But they seem so enthusiastic to get me out of bed, so I abide to their instruction to get change and wait at the waiting area for DH. I was done at about 10.30am. So I waited...tick tock, tick tock and almost 1 1/2 hr has passed. He is still not here. Nurse knowing that DH is not here so she asked me to wait outside of the theatre instead. I was getting very sad and emotional at this moment. So I message him again and asked if he is done. He says he is done with the early meeting and he need to go back in the afternoon. I was so angry as he told me he will be taking half day leave today.After that he gave me a call asking if he should come to the clinic to fetch me or I can go down meet him. I told him I am still feeling abit dizzy and cramp. I was very sad and my tears keep rolling...I feel he has been irresponsible and taking things for granted. I am doing this for him and now he seem to push everything to me. Soon after I told him to come find me, I dropped the call.
I didn't continue to wait in the clinic and went out to wait instead as it was very cold in there and I felt so hungry. I waited at the taxi stand and he came after about 30 mins. He started to feel sorry and I rejected his offer to help me.
I asked him to drop me off when we reach home and I will go buy food myself. After that he told me he is not going back to office already. Which means sometimes he can still make the decision but he prefer not to and follows whatever is planned. This is what I hate about him and this shows work is more important than his family.
I told him I have a gut feeling this time I may not be so lucky, and I will not do the procedure again no matter what the result is. The feeling of neglectant is so awful and I feel I am doing all this just for my self and I am fighting hard alone. Though the first time is a smooth process but this time is different especially I have a son who needs my attention and care plus he is not here with me to share the burden.
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