This morning came to be a little surprise to me, my temperature reading actually drops at my first take. Couldn't believe my eyes, took a second time and it went even lower. At this point, I'm thinking if there is anything wrong with my thermometer which gave me three different reading at almost the same time... Anyway I believe my temperature has dropped. Not a good sign....a bit dissapointed but I'm mentally prepared for the failure.
Yesterday, starts to feel a little menses cramp and thought it was a good sign, as I have read that menses cramp could mean BFP also. But I don't want to take it too lightly. Yestersay night I felt so tired and had a good night sleep. Don't know why sudden I feel so drained out, could it be due to the emotional rack I have gone through while watching the sad movies related to doggy?
During my sleep last night, I had a terrible night mare! First time I dreamt my 'Big Aunt' came and its very heavy till it soaked the pad red. I have never had such heavy menses before. Well, it really scare me off...I must be too stress to have such dream.
My mood today is steady and calm,not as tired as yesterday. In the car, I told my hubby how I feel about our IVF this time. I told him maybe I should give up for second try. It is too much of emotional stress for me and the fact that both of us are having some fertility problem. If I was to try the 2nd time, I got to sacrifice my work for another 2 weeks which could affect my work progress also. Not sure If my boss is so generous to release me so frequent till I get my BFP? Moreover, I do not have any frozen embryos which means I'm going to frequent the hospital for follow-ups and puregon jabs for the first two weeks.
Just read a blog of a girl who has finally conceived through her 2nd cycle and it really tempt me...
Today I have been trying to convince myself to accept the failure, trying to focus on other stuffs and plans in the future. I knew I couldn't take cold drinks for these 2 weeks, but today I released myself and just drank a glass of ice mocha with ice-cream without guilt. I knew there's not much hope for me, why put so much effort? But on the other side of my mind, I told myself if result not out yet I still have chance.
After back home from a day out with my furry kid, I felt a little menses cramp. Don't know if it is a good or bad sign. But I choose to take it lightly and think it could be a false symptom. Other than that, my XXX drive is really high since yesterday...Urgh!!! I regret not doing it before my ET, I shouldn't have worried that it will affect my treatment before ET. This could be one of the side effect from the utrogestan pressies I'm taking vaginally. How can I endure till the result is out? I have read online, It is best not to orgasm which could affect the result due to contraction of the uterus...haiz...How I really wish days could pass soon so I can resume my normal routine but...still I would like to enjoy my holiday slowly....HOW? =(
Today for the 1st time since ET I actually lost count on the days of progress. I'm more relaxed than the past few days...just want to quickly get this over and done.
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